Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Le Sigh....

Its midweek.. And had you asked me what I would be doing this weekend just a month or so ago.. I would have said I was going to Rhinebeck.. But.. Not getting to now.. Not complaining.. I am going home for a month so that is more important at this point in time anyway .. Not even a choice really .. Life happens .. I know this .. I am a big girl and can take it.. Its just..

Well.. There was just more to it than a sheep and wool thing.. I had plans.. I had people to see.. I had things to do .. I was very much looking forward to well ALOT.. I know there will be other times.. Its just disappointing and I would be totally lying if I said it didnt bother me on some level.. Some of the plans I had have been taking shape for years.. Yes.. Years.. So ..

I know what I have to do .. What I need to do .. What is responsible and right.. It still doesnt take away the sting of having to be disappointed by not getting to do what I want to do (doesnt that sound spoiled and bratty) .. I miss the days where I totally flew by the seat of my pants.. To a degree I still do .. But its tempered with responsibility and knowing there is a fine line between the things you want and the things you have to do .. And most of the time they are close to each other or a compromise can be met.. However this time something had to be sacrificed.. And Rhinebck was it .. And all my extra curricular activities(which I can reschedule .. just going to take alot of juggling to do so ).. I know there is next year.. I also know if I am patient (which is NOT one of my strong points) next year I can get way more stuff than if I tried to do both things this year.. So logic tells me I am doing the right thing.. But there is this little twinge I cant seem to get rid of as the weekend approaches.. I am jealous of all of you that are getting to go..

I know my time at home will be wonderful.. And time that will be well spent with my nieces and my dad.. And it will be a totally good thing that I went.. I am just having a selfish moment ..

posted by ThreeOliveMartini @ Wednesday, October 12, 2005  


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