Its midweek.. And had you asked me what I would be doing this weekend just a month or so ago.. I would have said I was going to Rhinebeck.. But.. Not getting to now.. Not complaining.. I am going home for a month so that is more important at this point in time anyway .. Not even a choice really .. Life happens .. I know this .. I am a big girl and can take it.. Its just..
Well.. There was just more to it than a sheep and wool thing.. I had plans.. I had people to see.. I had things to do .. I was very much looking forward to well ALOT.. I know there will be other times.. Its just disappointing and I would be totally lying if I said it didnt bother me on some level.. Some of the plans I had have been taking shape for years.. Yes.. Years.. So ..
I know what I have to do .. What I need to do .. What is responsible and right.. It still doesnt take away the sting of having to be disappointed by not getting to do what I want to do (doesnt that sound spoiled and bratty) .. I miss the days where I totally flew by the seat of my pants.. To a degree I still do .. But its tempered with responsibility and knowing there is a fine line between the things you want and the things you have to do .. And most of the time they are close to each other or a compromise can be met.. However this time something had to be sacrificed.. And Rhinebck was it .. And all my extra curricular activities(which I can reschedule .. just going to take alot of juggling to do so ).. I know there is next year.. I also know if I am patient (which is NOT one of my strong points) next year I can get way more stuff than if I tried to do both things this year.. So logic tells me I am doing the right thing.. But there is this little twinge I cant seem to get rid of as the weekend approaches.. I am jealous of all of you that are getting to go..
I know my time at home will be wonderful.. And time that will be well spent with my nieces and my dad.. And it will be a totally good thing that I went.. I am just having a selfish moment ..
Well.. There was just more to it than a sheep and wool thing.. I had plans.. I had people to see.. I had things to do .. I was very much looking forward to well ALOT.. I know there will be other times.. Its just disappointing and I would be totally lying if I said it didnt bother me on some level.. Some of the plans I had have been taking shape for years.. Yes.. Years.. So ..
I know what I have to do .. What I need to do .. What is responsible and right.. It still doesnt take away the sting of having to be disappointed by not getting to do what I want to do (doesnt that sound spoiled and bratty) .. I miss the days where I totally flew by the seat of my pants.. To a degree I still do .. But its tempered with responsibility and knowing there is a fine line between the things you want and the things you have to do .. And most of the time they are close to each other or a compromise can be met.. However this time something had to be sacrificed.. And Rhinebck was it .. And all my extra curricular activities(which I can reschedule .. just going to take alot of juggling to do so ).. I know there is next year.. I also know if I am patient (which is NOT one of my strong points) next year I can get way more stuff than if I tried to do both things this year.. So logic tells me I am doing the right thing.. But there is this little twinge I cant seem to get rid of as the weekend approaches.. I am jealous of all of you that are getting to go..
I know my time at home will be wonderful.. And time that will be well spent with my nieces and my dad.. And it will be a totally good thing that I went.. I am just having a selfish moment ..
8 Comments:
At 6:31 AM,
Unknown said…
Aww I'm feelin' for ya. Sometimes it sucks being responsible and adult about things when really you want to just stomp your feet and throw a fit.
We've got to arrange a meeting for when your home.
At 6:55 AM,
Deneen said…
You are allowed to be selfish once in a while and throw a hissy! We all do girl! Your dad is going to be happy to spend time with you, as are your nieces. You won't regret it. Now, stomp your feet, throw something and act like a bitch for a day. You'll feel better!
At 7:52 AM,
Amy said…
I know how frustrating that can be, especially when it was something that you were looking forward to so much.
See if you can't steal a "little" time for yourself for a little spoiling. You know, buy some makeup, get your nails done, etc.
It doesn't compare, I know, but you will never regret spending more time with your family. That is something you can never get back once it's missed.
At 5:08 PM,
Azathoth100 said…
Nothing can throw you off as oddly as foiled plans. I miss the days of playing life by the ear too, resposabilities suck. Being an adult sucks. But someone has to do it.
At 6:43 PM,
Unknown said…
Rhinebeck..??..is that in NY?
Hope your Dad is doing much better..I'm sure you will be some good medicine for him.
Op~
At 7:41 PM,
Burfica said…
We are all entitled to have a "moment" every now and then. I agree, have a bitch day, and then go with what you ahve to do.
Love ya
At 5:36 PM,
LadyLinoleum said…
You're totally entitled to those feelings and I respect you for being real. Hang in there girl!
At 1:40 AM,
Alekx said…
It's okay to feel bad about not being able to do what you want to do in lieu of what you need to do. But you also konw if you don't do what you need to do and something happens you won't be able to live with yourself.
Just think about coming out here to see us next. Yup that's the ticket.
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