there are times when a moment.. a comment.. a sigh.. can bring about a flash back .. a set back... a need to step back .. i hate it .. the people that are inadvertently involved in these situations inevitably believe it has something to do with them.. it doesn't.. not one bit..
its unfortunate.. they are innocent bystanders.. its enough to make me want to just remove myself socially from everything.. and there are times that i do .. another set back.. another scar that still hurts.. another moment from another life time effecting this new one.. i hate it.. i hate that i let that have say in this life.... there are days i feel i have made such leaps and bounds toward letting go of all that crap.. then in one tiny instant..one word.. one moment .. on incident.. i am back at square one.. not for long.. but long enough to shut down.. feel that self doubt.. feel all that i had thought i had left .. in the past .. a thousand miles away ..
i do my best every day not to let that get in the way of me moving forward.. i realise the things we have done.. we have experienced.. good and bad make us who we are right now.. i realise without those things i would be a different person.. i am not sure i would want it changed.. but what i am sure of is i don't like the way the past effects my present and those involved it in .. as hard as i try .. there seems to be no way to disconnect those things..
its unfortunate.. they are innocent bystanders.. its enough to make me want to just remove myself socially from everything.. and there are times that i do .. another set back.. another scar that still hurts.. another moment from another life time effecting this new one.. i hate it.. i hate that i let that have say in this life.... there are days i feel i have made such leaps and bounds toward letting go of all that crap.. then in one tiny instant..one word.. one moment .. on incident.. i am back at square one.. not for long.. but long enough to shut down.. feel that self doubt.. feel all that i had thought i had left .. in the past .. a thousand miles away ..
i do my best every day not to let that get in the way of me moving forward.. i realise the things we have done.. we have experienced.. good and bad make us who we are right now.. i realise without those things i would be a different person.. i am not sure i would want it changed.. but what i am sure of is i don't like the way the past effects my present and those involved it in .. as hard as i try .. there seems to be no way to disconnect those things..
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