To say I was at home would be a false statement.. but I am back in NC.. My trip was busy and of course I have a ton of things to tell you and so does Llarry ..
I made it home in what I thought was my longest time ever... 10 and a half hours.. I got stuck in Asheville due to weather and a fallen tree.. good thing for me.. I had some knitting and crochet work to do ... I got a good bit done while waiting for the tree to be cleared from the mountain road on which there was no way to turn around or find an alternate route..
I got home .. picked up my niece .. and went to get pricing done for my yard sale /festival thing on saturday .. I am giving the condensed version because Llarry will be my guest blogger tomorrow and give full details..
I saw my dad sunday.. he looked really good and was doing well ..
The trip home.... TRAUMATIC.. .. that is the best word I can use.. You will note on the way home to Kentucky Brutus , the wonderdog, was the perfect passenger.. even elicited a few honks from passing semis cause he is so damned CUTE..
The way back to NC .. well not so great and he isnt the wonderdog any more.. about half way thru the trip home .. well less than half.. it was about Knoxville.. he started gettting restless.. and wanted in my lap.. he NEVER does this and I should have taken this as a sign.. I make him get back in the back seat with Alexis.. the younger of the two nieces.. welllllllll.. about 15 minutes later.. I hear
"Aunt Beth.. Brutus just pooped on me a little"..
And he comes toward the front of the car.. onto Jessica.. the older niece..
I am thinking we need off the road and FAST.. so I am looking for the next exit.. 2 miles.. those were the longest two miles I have every driven .. because ...
As Brutus jumped up on Jessica.. she had the sense to try to direct him back to the back seat.. as luck would have it.. she turned his ass toward me just in time for me to get sprayed with projectile shit.. I have never seen so much shit come from a dog's ass.. and I still had a mile to the exit.. we were all gagging and grossing out.. Jessica remaind unscathed.. she didnt even get one little drop on her.. Alexis's damage was a spot on her t-shirt about the size of a half dollar.. me?
Let's put it this way .. I had to completely change clothes .. and was very tempted to throw away the ones I had on.. not only that .. my seat belt.. the connector.. under my seat .. the whole side of my seat.. my wallet.. and CD holder.. all sprayed.. I thought I was going to DIE... Me and smells .. not such good friends.. I was thankful it didnt get on my phone.. I am not sure insurance would have covered that..
I get off the exit.. as luck would have it.. that store had NO CLEANERS.. NONE.. what the fuck??!! .. luckily.. I had some Fantastic Orange wipes .. some blue paper towels .. and some Febreze in my car.. so ..
An hour later.. a whole package of wipes.. half a bottle of Febreze and every last paper towel I had.. PLUS a change of clothes.. I was ready to drive to the next exit to get some real cleaner and get the rest of the mess out of my car..
Did I mention .. I have leather seats.. and that it was down IN the connector of my seat belt not to mention on the belt as well ?
I get to the next stop.. get gas.. go in .. got some antibacterial cleaner.. another roll of paper towels and 45 minutes later.. after basically crawling under the seat ... scrubbing the whole of my seat.. scrubbing the seat belt etc.. and MORE Febreze.. we were ready for the rest of the trip.. with the dog .. safely in his kennel..
Lessons Learned..
Never let a child hold your dog while travelling.. the combination of body heats.. over heats the dog and he ends up shitting all in your car and throwing up the minute he gets out.. (thank goodness for that cause vomit.. OMG.. I dont deal with that well at all .. i would have done it too )
ALWAYS carry cleaners in your car.. if you are travelling with animals .. I suggest an enzyme based one specifically for pet stains.. better safe than sorry .. and having to ride 300 miles with stench..
ALWAYS have a fresh change of clothing in your car in case of such emergencies.. I cant imagine what I would have done had I not been able to change..
Needless to say .. I spent the whole of sunday ultra cleaning my car.. and to be on the safe side.. I am taking it to the steam cleaners sometime this week .. I cant stand the thought of me missing something and it just sitting in there for months stinking..
So I actually set the record long time coming back . 13 hours.. thats right 13 hours for a 9 hour trip.. and nastiness to boot..
so. .. more details tomorrow kids.. I am sure you had enough for today ..
I made it home in what I thought was my longest time ever... 10 and a half hours.. I got stuck in Asheville due to weather and a fallen tree.. good thing for me.. I had some knitting and crochet work to do ... I got a good bit done while waiting for the tree to be cleared from the mountain road on which there was no way to turn around or find an alternate route..
I got home .. picked up my niece .. and went to get pricing done for my yard sale /festival thing on saturday .. I am giving the condensed version because Llarry will be my guest blogger tomorrow and give full details..
I saw my dad sunday.. he looked really good and was doing well ..
The trip home.... TRAUMATIC.. .. that is the best word I can use.. You will note on the way home to Kentucky Brutus , the wonderdog, was the perfect passenger.. even elicited a few honks from passing semis cause he is so damned CUTE..
The way back to NC .. well not so great and he isnt the wonderdog any more.. about half way thru the trip home .. well less than half.. it was about Knoxville.. he started gettting restless.. and wanted in my lap.. he NEVER does this and I should have taken this as a sign.. I make him get back in the back seat with Alexis.. the younger of the two nieces.. welllllllll.. about 15 minutes later.. I hear
"Aunt Beth.. Brutus just pooped on me a little"..
And he comes toward the front of the car.. onto Jessica.. the older niece..
I am thinking we need off the road and FAST.. so I am looking for the next exit.. 2 miles.. those were the longest two miles I have every driven .. because ...
As Brutus jumped up on Jessica.. she had the sense to try to direct him back to the back seat.. as luck would have it.. she turned his ass toward me just in time for me to get sprayed with projectile shit.. I have never seen so much shit come from a dog's ass.. and I still had a mile to the exit.. we were all gagging and grossing out.. Jessica remaind unscathed.. she didnt even get one little drop on her.. Alexis's damage was a spot on her t-shirt about the size of a half dollar.. me?
Let's put it this way .. I had to completely change clothes .. and was very tempted to throw away the ones I had on.. not only that .. my seat belt.. the connector.. under my seat .. the whole side of my seat.. my wallet.. and CD holder.. all sprayed.. I thought I was going to DIE... Me and smells .. not such good friends.. I was thankful it didnt get on my phone.. I am not sure insurance would have covered that..
I get off the exit.. as luck would have it.. that store had NO CLEANERS.. NONE.. what the fuck??!! .. luckily.. I had some Fantastic Orange wipes .. some blue paper towels .. and some Febreze in my car.. so ..
An hour later.. a whole package of wipes.. half a bottle of Febreze and every last paper towel I had.. PLUS a change of clothes.. I was ready to drive to the next exit to get some real cleaner and get the rest of the mess out of my car..
Did I mention .. I have leather seats.. and that it was down IN the connector of my seat belt not to mention on the belt as well ?
I get to the next stop.. get gas.. go in .. got some antibacterial cleaner.. another roll of paper towels and 45 minutes later.. after basically crawling under the seat ... scrubbing the whole of my seat.. scrubbing the seat belt etc.. and MORE Febreze.. we were ready for the rest of the trip.. with the dog .. safely in his kennel..
Lessons Learned..
Never let a child hold your dog while travelling.. the combination of body heats.. over heats the dog and he ends up shitting all in your car and throwing up the minute he gets out.. (thank goodness for that cause vomit.. OMG.. I dont deal with that well at all .. i would have done it too )
ALWAYS carry cleaners in your car.. if you are travelling with animals .. I suggest an enzyme based one specifically for pet stains.. better safe than sorry .. and having to ride 300 miles with stench..
ALWAYS have a fresh change of clothing in your car in case of such emergencies.. I cant imagine what I would have done had I not been able to change..
Needless to say .. I spent the whole of sunday ultra cleaning my car.. and to be on the safe side.. I am taking it to the steam cleaners sometime this week .. I cant stand the thought of me missing something and it just sitting in there for months stinking..
So I actually set the record long time coming back . 13 hours.. thats right 13 hours for a 9 hour trip.. and nastiness to boot..
so. .. more details tomorrow kids.. I am sure you had enough for today ..
16 Comments:
At 3:10 AM,
Marvie said…
OMG that so sucks! I'd have freaked out lol. Hope the pooch is feeling better now and glad you're back =)
At 6:28 AM,
Deneen said…
For some odd reason, I cannot stop laughing. Unfortunately, I keep bringing up the image of your face (the one from your new avatar) and your little Brutus's ass facing you. I would have been mortified! I did have 7 puppies in my car once (not the one I have now) and I took them to the vet, they got shots, etc and four of em puked all over my backseat, No comparison to being shat on-ewwwwwww~ That post should elicit some weird hits now!
Glad your back to NC (carefully worded). Now you've given your nieces a lasting memory-trust me, that's the shit (no pun intended) they remember, not the warm fuzzies!
At 7:45 AM,
Anonymous said…
That is simultaneously the most disgusting and the funniest thing I have heard for a long while. I've had to put up with plenty of car sickness from children, but even they have never sprayed me in s**t (not in the car at least)!
At 8:08 AM,
hi, i'm natalie said…
Agh! What a shitty trip. [sorry, couldn't resist!!] seriously, that really sucks but - I was laughing so hard...
At 10:25 AM,
Unknown said…
Shit happens...
I can't stop laughing... The boy threw up chocolate milk and breakfast all over the van just inside Gettysburg, PA but I think your's beats that for grossness.
yucky.....
Glad you made it home ok.
At 10:31 AM,
LadyLinoleum said…
OMG, not fun girlfriend!
At 12:27 PM,
sara said…
After reading other comments, I have no guilt in confessing that I am laughing my hind end off! Which is good; I really need the laugh.
I do feel for you, though. I've dealt with projectile diarrhea as well...from a cat. A cat scared of his own farts. A cat who ran every time he farted said projectile diarrhea.
Definitely go for the steam clean. It's hard to get shit out of carpeting.
At 1:52 PM,
Daisy said…
OMG that's awful! I've never had to go that far with a sick dog. The worst Loco's ever done in my car was projectile vomit onto my lap/shirt/driver's side area and that was only ten miles from home... Course even that close to home I still stopped and went through half a roll of paper towels because, well, ick. (Also he did get sick and crap all over the place one time but fortunately he did it on his doggie blanket and it didn't soak through, so the mess wasn't too bad..)
At 3:24 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh Beth, I am still gagging for you! I missed you a ton.
At 3:34 PM,
Unknown said…
holy chickens, what a story! This is good to know ahead of time, as I am going to pick up my puppy on Friday - hopefully it won't be an experience like yours. I'm going right now to find some enzyme-based cleaner....
At 3:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ok, please forgive me now because I cannot stop laughing. I wouldn't be laughing if it had happened to me but I am sure you are laughing now. Fortunately for me I have a large dog and she is good with car rides but I will learn from you and carry extras with me in case. Knowing how you are I can picture your face when this happened. I feel for you sister! BUT IT IS STILL FUNNY!! PML
Love ya!
At 4:10 PM,
kitten said…
*holds nose*
I have never had a boston terrier crap all over me in the car, but I have a had a few cats do it........i hope you aired thaat baby out GOOD!
At 7:52 PM,
Jewels said…
omg, that is too funny. I had a similar incident quite a few years back with my little Sheltie and vomit heaves in the car..
At 11:26 PM,
ThreeOliveMartini said…
no one should feel bad about laughing .. if the tables were turned i would be laughing my ass off..
and it IS funny.. especially now that its over LOL
At 11:21 AM,
MomThatsNuts said…
Just READING that made ME wanna throw up!! Poor girl!!!
now that you have the neices you will be REALLY busy...
Mom
At 2:19 PM,
Burfica said…
that is almost as gross/funny as the time I stopped at a rest area to go to the bathroom. I walk in and this lady with really really long hair has her head over the sink and is rinsing it all off. She has a bottle of shampoo and everything, and a clean shirt. I'm thinking oh great shower time at the rest stop, when she tells me. ooOoo excuse me but my 6 year old nephew puked all over my head. OMG I was disgussted and giggly all at the same time.
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